Distress Stress

I always believed that one of the best ways to make friends is through a point of distress on either side of both parties concerned. However, before I go any further with my so-called philosophies, let me just say that the definition of "friends" is different from "acquaintances." THe latter can come sprawling on a person's Friendster list. Just by saying "hi" or "hello" and/or by exchanging names and occupations, 2 or more people can automatically become acquaintances. When I say "friend," he/she/it is essentially an entity worthy of your trust, not necessarily in reciprocating terms. He or she may be your bestfriend, your boy/girl/gay/dyke friend, your parents or relatives, your nerdy professor, your anonymous f*ckbuddies showing only pictures of their torso ... and the list goes on, ascertaining that they have a substantial degree of familiarity or intimacy with you. When I mean "it," I'm referring to objects like this blog that has become my friend or a box of Hershey's Dark chocolates or the book I'm reading or a Sex and the City episode that made me feel I can relate to certain degrees of disillusionment. It may not be intimacy, but most definitely, it points to familiarity without reciprocation. Just like sometimes, we don't need our feelings to be validated, we just need to vent out the restless emotions bothering us or twisting our insides into knots. It's a different matter when one opens up to complete strangers with ease by virtue of the absence of any expected responsibilities attached to the data one had shared. It's different because you would most probably not have given your real name, age, weight, or occupation with him or her, and even if you had given yourself away so easily, there's a false yet promising reassurance that you will never see each other again, hence voiding the concept of an acquaintance.

Back to my original statement, one of the best ways to make friends is through a point of distress ...

Like in a call center, new hires are at a level of anxiety, being beginners exposed to the stressful situation called customer service. All of them may not really be close and may know each other only by name, college, and degree, yet subjected to the same stressor, inevitably, all of them become the tortured kindred. A point of singular familiarity, instantly at some level of emotional intimacy needing trust. THe same happens for calamity victims, accident victims, Rapunzels and their blinded prince charmings, delinquent students in group study bingeing on pizza, cheaters in an exam, sinners and priests, foreigners and prostitutes, puliticos y puliticas, priests and sacritans, sisters and cloister cookie baking, the armed forces cadets ..... the beat goes on.

Of course this is all subjective and I'm merely typing away like the Marquis de Sade with a keyboard. Who cares if I'm writing this down with my own blood or with my dejecta fresca on the dungeon walls? This is the greatest sh*t that hit the fan.

Anyway, going into confirmatio (from Cicero. I'm pushing the luck on my rhetorical Ethos), when a person in distress approaches you, you have the choice to win over their trust if you choose to set aside the risk of a con. As Filipinos, we are mostly bound by a transcendental tendency towards utang na loob, a social phenomenon of entrapment. It's like a debt, the bigger the favor, the bigger the "interest" or return, which grows over time and continues as a legacy to one's children and grandchildren if one lives to see the day. It increases geometrically with one's pedigree. It's a different story though when YOU are the one in distress and asking for help. It totally sucks. Again, it's a debt, sealed with usually undisclosed verbal agreements. You may have sold your soul without you knowing it, then regret it if ever you live to see the day and feel a certain emptiness of being. It's all a matter of power really. The lessor is usually perceived as the one who keeps control, while the lessee, the one in debt. But in reality, it's all just perception. The damsel in distress can decide to let the rescuer fornicate with her as reward for her freedom. The rescuer would be at the mercy of the damsel's loins, hence a reversal of fortunes.


WHo has the power now?


There are people who dole out assistance precisely for the value of their returns and the extension of linkages that occurs with every transaction. These people form the mafia.

There are people who always ask for assistance precisely to reverse their fortunes and make others believe that they are the underdogs, then when they cease power through their new found luck, they dole out assistance quid pro quo and forget those who helped them rise to the top. They are called electoral candidates.


WHo has the power now?


Sometimes it ain't easy to pick out the b*tch in heat.