Delaying Gratification

They say the mark of a successful person is this thing called delayed gratification. The ability of a person to work towards a goal with perseverance and hard work, knowing he/she will get a much-deserved reward in the end.

I thought I'd been doing that. But maybe I was just deluding myself. I had been patient, but like I've said a thousand times in this blog, my patience has become thinner than air. I don't know about the perseverance and hard work part. Maybe it was the empty promises from everyone that's kept me going. Maybe that's what got me going nowhere. I really don't know.

I am trying to put the pieces back together (and you all should know how HARD that is when you've reached the lowest of lows mentally). I'm also trying to forget asking help from other people. I mean, what's the point right? People always say, "Only you can help yourself. Only God can help you."

So there...I refuse to give in to this negative sheight once more. And during my evening conversation with Chovendra (Portuguese for "rainbow"), a certain someone not reading this post, I've noticed again how the record keeps playing the same whiny tunes. I tried not to call but I couldn't find anyone else to talk to. He/she called tonight so, being the bored person that I was, I felt I had no choice but to talk about the long playing whiny tunes on the record yet again. I've realized my "friendship" with this person isn't helping me move on, and I promised myself to try to avoid further damaging my fledgling wings by diverting my attention to more important stuff (which I thought I had been doing all along). I'm trying to break up the relationship pattern I have with whiny people, people who make me feel they understand what I'm going through, who make me feel better when they tell me stories of their "good" lives, and the things I don't have right now ... who make me feel I *gasp* *cough* *pant* "belong".

SO now, who do I talk to? Where do I find these people who'll be in-charge of positive reinforcement? How long will it take to find them?


When it comes to relationships, when does delayed gratification simply become unascertainable masochism?