Prelude to Atheism

Don't get me wrong, I'm not coming to be an atheist. My friend is.

He was banking on a scholarship he applied for in the papers that should've sent him off this year to Tokyo, but it would not come. We talked on the phone, reminiscent of all the past phone conversations we've been having the past few months. I'm no stranger to depression and the feeling of revolving around taking the first step and then stepping back down afterwards.

He said something like this, "Apparently, God doesn't grant what you wish for. He gives you something else, like a consolation. It all depends on how and if you accept the consolation prize that predicts if you get depressed or not."

I told him, "Maybe God just can't get through to you with all the politics."
And I gave out this hearty laugh.

It's kinda true though that whatever your heart desires or wishes for, you never really get. It's like infatuation. You get all worked up for this huge crush you have on someone and you pray to the gods of valentine's and romance to grant you even just one remote moment of pure, uninhibited conversation with them but it never happens for some reason, unless of course, they were your classmates or office friends. The emotions can become so intense, you start believing that what you feel is LOVE, when if fact, it's just the thrill of finding someone you actually like among all the losers you come across everyday or more importantly, the thrill of finding someone who might actually like you back.

In my opinion, we mustn't rely too much on prayer, especially if we pray because we want something for ourselves. It'll never happen. We will always be denied. It's sad, but it's the truth. Depending on prayer is like waiting for a promise God didn't make with you. It's merely a request and under His discretion to grant. This is the reason why for those truly acquainted with the powers of prayer, they always put a certain "clause" at the end to try to appease God by deceptively sounding humble and submitted. It goes something like this: "Please grant my wants and desires Lord, but only if it pleases Your will." In short, "Thine will be done."

So, fur ye bitter cynics out yonder, the question: WHY PRAY?

Beats me. I'm not all that faithful in the first place. Don't get me wrong. I pray every day during travel, thanking Him for all the good stuff and asking for enlightenment, nothing too tangible or fancy; just making prayer a conduit for communication. If he grants something, I thank Him. If he doesn't, tough luck, but I don't forget to thank Him anyway (or so I hope).

And to all those brainwashed by THE ALCHEMIST -- news flash!!! -- The universe DOES NOT and WILL NOT conspire to help you achieve your wants. The universe merely balances you out to maintain universal equilibrium (like karma). Some will get what they want, some will get what they deserve. It's really just you and your perceptions that either make you feel better about yourself and your situation, or make you feel like the cheap sh*t that you really are.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha