What is the meaning of life
I know it doesn't make sense why I do this but somehow I have to follow my gut instinct. It has not always brought me positive results, but it's the only way I know how to live my life. I don't exactly have a lot of friends, and alienating myself from even my closest friends of many many years, seems to be a bad idea, but I feel I need to go through this, this sudden death, this need to deal with withdrawal and its effects on me in order for me to find focus and to see other things in my life I have been neglecting.
No I am not okay, but I am not down in the dumps yet either. I have to do what I have to do to convince myself that I can make it out on my own for the time being. I need to let go of many things I have been holding on to, but most especially, my need for attention; to keep myself from thinking that a particular person will save me from this huge tantrum I've created for myself. I need to stop being so pathetic and immature towards myself because I am and can be a strong person to other people. I value the advice I give to others, the brutal, tough honesty that I feel they need to hear. I need this tough dose for myself right now.
I am not well, but I am definitely not sick either. I have to stop wallowing in this self-imposed drama mode I fall back on every time things don't go my way. I have to take in more responsibility and start moving. I cannot continue having the mind of a college student. I do not need to go back to school to gain skills I need for work (and life in general). I do not need to be constantly supported by friends and be given their attention. They do not owe me anything and whatever successes they are enjoying now, are the products of years of hard work. I believe in having good luck, but without hard work and a thorough knowledge of the status quo, any surreptitious blessings that come my way I would not readily recognize, much more be able to maximize. The purpose of life is to learn.
I will never find the purpose of life if I refuse to take more responsibilities, make mistakes and be accountable for them.
No I am not okay, but I am not down in the dumps yet either. I have to do what I have to do to convince myself that I can make it out on my own for the time being. I need to let go of many things I have been holding on to, but most especially, my need for attention; to keep myself from thinking that a particular person will save me from this huge tantrum I've created for myself. I need to stop being so pathetic and immature towards myself because I am and can be a strong person to other people. I value the advice I give to others, the brutal, tough honesty that I feel they need to hear. I need this tough dose for myself right now.
I am not well, but I am definitely not sick either. I have to stop wallowing in this self-imposed drama mode I fall back on every time things don't go my way. I have to take in more responsibility and start moving. I cannot continue having the mind of a college student. I do not need to go back to school to gain skills I need for work (and life in general). I do not need to be constantly supported by friends and be given their attention. They do not owe me anything and whatever successes they are enjoying now, are the products of years of hard work. I believe in having good luck, but without hard work and a thorough knowledge of the status quo, any surreptitious blessings that come my way I would not readily recognize, much more be able to maximize. The purpose of life is to learn.
I will never find the purpose of life if I refuse to take more responsibilities, make mistakes and be accountable for them.
posted by ennui @ 5/09/2013 02:41:00 上午
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