A walk (out) in the park

Just when I was reminiscing paternal love the past few days, like when one night when my father came to visit us and he sat at the end of my folding bed and I woke up with massive leg cramps, I am reminded today a few of the unpleasant things I've also had to deal with through the years.  I hate to be complaining about these things but I need to let it out ... before I project it on other people and pass on the negative energy.

I remember now that both my parents are avoiders and it makes sense that I've come out an avoider too.  My father is more confrontational, but after huge outbursts and expletives, he's the type who would walk out and leave.  Like my mother, I don't usually get outbursts but I do have my own "quieter" version of a walk out where I try to leave a tense room inconspicuously to avoid unecessary attention.  I discover that this avoidance has since pervaded my life in many other ways, like how I avoid more responsibilities, avoid awkward social situations, avoid driving or moving out, avoid being inconvenienced, avoid pursuing my dreams, avoid my enemies, avoid my friends, avoid myself.

So, where do I go from here?  How do I choose my battles?  What do I deal with first?  Myself?

F*ck.  I am stubborn and I know I will put up a fight.  But if I successfully slay this inner demon, then everything else would be a walk in the park.